everyone on my dash is screaming “HE WAS SO GOING TO SAY HE LOVED HIM” , but he did say that, weren’t you paying attention?
Sherlock and John don’t communicate the way “normal” people do - how could they? One is an adrenaline junkie who seeks out bullets even after one left a web of dead cells on his shoulder and the other introduces himself as a “high functioning sociopath” to protect himself from his own emotions (because his childhood pet died - I’m crying into eternity over that.)
So what did we see?
He took his glove off when he shook John’s hand, he offered his name, full name, to be theirs - remember how John hates his name, but “gives” it whilst Sherlock is, to his eyes, flirting with Irene?
He shot a man. He shot a man. In the head. Point blank, no regrets. He shot a man for John Watson. He jumped in a fire for John Watson. He jumped off a roof for John Watson.
He helped pick out the colour for the bride’s maid’s dresses for John Watson. He wrote that best man’s speech for John Watson. He saved “the most unsociable man he’s ever met” for John Watson.
He moved John’s chair because he couldn’t bear to see it vacant. (or for Janine to sit in it? It’s John’s after all.)
He got bloody engaged to ensure John’s wife was fine.
He fucking bought himself back into consciousness with the thought “John Watson is in danger” after being shot.
He let John choose if he wanted Mary to stay. He only told John “six months”, so he wouldn’t worry him, because that’s not on - John can’t worry, because John Watson is his top priority.
He knew he was going to his death so he made that joke about his name so he would see John Watson smile.
He did all that fully knowing that while John is his pressure point, he is not John’s.
If that’s not an “I love you”, than, my dear fandom, I don’t know what more do you want.
#let’s have this scene end right here #this is it this is the cliffhanger #none of that dumb handshake stuff happens #moriarty doesn’t happen #we just have sherlock stuck with his words behind his tongue and his pride #look at his goddamn face #and tell me that is not the face of a man hopelessly desperately tragically in love
Sherlock was going to say something big and difficult. He opted for a joke instead, but he’s clearly gearing himself up to say something.
What is John expecting Sherlock to say? He doesn’t look surprised that Sherlock has something he’s always meant to say that he’s going to say now.
He’s got to expect it to be I love you, doesn’t he? In a context like this?Or maybe he thinks it will be the bodies are in the garden, under the petunias. Or my brother’s tapped your house, don’t say anything revealing near the fireplace, the windows, or the vases, or when the lights are on. Or maybe he’s expecting something more simple: Thank you. You were always there, and you were always welcome.
And what might Sherlock have actually been gearing himself up to say, knowing what we now know about him?
You made my life better. You made me better. You gave me something I’d never had and didn’t know I wanted. You let me be your best friend, and I have treasured that. I’m sorry for all the stupid things I did that hurt you. I didn’t know I could love anyone, and I didn’t know I could want to. But I did. And I do. Please don’t forget me.
Close? No? What, then?
i want john to know how sherlock looked when he went off to dance with mary and how he looked when he left early
i want him to know that sherlock considered going to his wedding going “into battle”
i want him to know that sherlock flatlined because of mary’s shot and clawed his way back to life with the thought "john watson in definitely in danger" ringing in his head
i want him to know that sherlock moved his chair because he couldn’t stand to see it empty
i want him to know what sherlock had been planning on saying instead of “sherlock is actually a girls’ name” and about mycroft’s knowing look when he said that he wanted to speak to john alone
i want him to know about how lonely sherlock’s childhood was and i want him to know about redbeard and what sherlock went through after he was put down and i want him to know about the scars on his back and the scars on his heart and
i just want john to know what we know
soulmate AU where everyone has their soulmate’s name on their wrist and John has “William” on his but after he meets Sherlock he decides to ignore it because he knows that this man is going to be the most important and amazing person he’ll ever meet and then Sherlock dies so he meets Mary and then Sherlock comes back and tells him his full name and John just understands
But then Sherlock intentionally brought John to Cam’s office to see him propose to Janine. So he intended for John to discover it was a sham all along.
The thing is, Sherlock doesn’t want John to know he’s capable of love. Because he (Sherlock) demonstrated that clearly in TSoT, and he ended up with a broken heart.
So HLV shows us Sherlock re-embracing his sociopathic ways. Fuck this love thing, it’s a chemical defect, etc etc. He’s determined to revert back to being cold and distant, but he can’t stop feeling the pain – hence, drugs.
The interesting thing here is that nothing, absolutely nothing, was stopping Sherlock from telling John that his relationship with Janine was a sham right after she left Baker Street. He’s already planning on John accompanying him to Cam’s office that night, and that’ll be the end of the fake-relationship with Janine anyway.
And yet – with no one else in the room! – Sherlock lies to John, yes, we’re in a relationship, it’s very affirming. He feigns mild surprise when John can’t focus on anything but this fact. He’s trying to tell John about Appledore, about this very important case, and all John can think about is girlfriendgirlfriendgirlfriend. So why doesn’t Sherlock tell him the truth right there so they can get to work?
You were enjoying it. Definitely enjoying it.
John was clearly jealous, and Sherlock didn’t mind dragging it out one bit. Which is 1) hilarious and 2) proof he’s obviously failed at his attempt to ward off the ~feels~.
one day sherlock and john are going to pretend to be a couple for a case and once the case is over they’ll just forget to stop